How Do You Overcome Being Hurt By Others?

This came out of a conversation I had with my 10 year old. I asked her what she thinks about when someone hurts her and her response was 'I wonder why they hate me'. Of course, I recognized the teachable moment immediately! Here are some nuggets from our conversation...

1. Remember everyone does the best they can in a given moment. We're all human. We don't always make the best decisions. What you may think is a bad decision may seem right to someone else. Try to be understanding and see things from their perspective and do your best not to judge. We'll never know what someone elses intentions are or why they do certain things because we've never walked in their shoes. If you find yourself judging others, don't judge yourself! Notice the thought and let it go. Just being aware of it and making a conscious decision not to judge, minimizes your chance of slipping into that behavior. What I like to do is notice the thought, let it go and then bless that person and send them positive thoughts/energy.

2. Every person and encounter happens for a reason. Ask yourself, what can you learn from this, even though it hurts. What may be the reason that this happened. How can I do better or help others as I learn from this?

3. How important is this in the grand scheme of things? Often when we get hurt by people, it feels like that's all we can focus on but when we take a minute to reflect, it's often not something that's going to have a big impact in the long term (unless we let it). We can choose to reframe it and learn from it so we can let go of the hurt and pain.

4. Forgiveness. This is a tough one. Sometimes people consistently hurt us and others, and we don't understand it. What we need to remember is hurt people, hurt people. Try to have compassion for others. It's also important to recognize when a relationship is toxic and it's best to cut ties rather than constantly forgiving and ending up in the same cycle (that's another discussion, for another time).

5. Being vulnerable. If the relationship is important to you, talk to the person about how their words or behavior makes you feel (not about what they're doing wrong). They may not even be aware of it. A great deal of healing takes place when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. This is also how we strengthen relationships and build trust.

6. Don’t take it personally. Easier said than done, I know. Often when someone hurts us, it's a reaction they choose to have, whether the intention is good or bad. We have a choice in how we interpret it and how we let it affect us. Remember, holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. We can either choose to let these moments shape us or break us. What will you choose?

If this is an area you struggle with, I would love to speak with you to see how I can help. You can book a FREE strategy session with me by using this link: http://www.bookedin.net/life-and-leadership-coaching-for-women

Have an amazing, blessed day!


Sharissa is a life and leadership coach for women, specializing in the areas of career transition and advancement as well as work/life balance. She is a speaker, writer, radio talk show host, co-owner of Stop.Smile.Breathe. Women's Retreats, and serves on the Board of Directors of a non-profit organization called Empowering Women as Leaders.

She has held leadership positions in the technology field at Fortune 500 companies, the federal government and multinational companies, among others, for over 12 years. She enjoyed coaching and mentoring throughout her career and decided to start a business based on her passion for helping women.

The mission of her business is to help women live a well-balanced life of purpose, joy and fulfillment where they’re thriving and not just surviving.

www.sharissasebastian.com         

info@sharissasebastian.com

 

Source: www.sharissasebastian.com

“MAT PRACTICE” INTO “LIFE PRACTICE”

Although I love yoga, I almost did not show up for my yoga class that morning. It was a rushed morning and the weather outside even justified my not going into class. I also thought that I am late anyway and may not even get a spot in the class. Something made me just get up and say that even if I was going to be a little late for class, it should be all right.  Worse case, if I did not get a spot, I would just walk around and come back. I knew that if I did make it, I would feel better after the session because I had shown up and had done my practice and I would be left with a lot of energy. As I walked in to the room, there was a place for me and I felt like it was a sign. I settled and started my Vinyasa flow.  What I realized that day was, how what we do on our mat is what we need to do in life too.

1. Showing up is so important: More than anything else is showing up on your mat just as important as showing up in life.

2. Unsure about what happens: No matter how many years we practice yoga, each day or each practice session is different. We don’t know what happens on the mat on that particular day just as in life things that happen are not always known.

3. Continuing to breathe: No matter what we are doing on the mat, the focus is the breath because it is the breath that helps get through the different poses or the challenge on the mat just as in real life we are faced with different challenges at all times and the key is to get comfortable breathing through whatever it is that is happening.

4. Don’t worry about what happens on other’s mats: when we start to look around to see what others are doing on their mat, we lose focus of what we are doing and we end up losing our balance. Similarly, in life when we compare ourselves with others and focus on what others are doing, we lose focus on what we need to do. Of course, its always great to have people around us inspire us, but do not get intimidated by what others are doing. Focus on your strengths.

5. Learning to be present: On the mat, it’s all about being present. We may be faced with worries from the past or about the future but what helps us stay focused is being present in that moment. Similarly in life we will be faced with stress, anxiety, emotions or worries about events that have occurred or what may occur, but we need to learn to acknowledge them, feel them and then come back to the present.

6. Learning to let go of what is not serving us: Just as you release the thoughts that no longer serve you during your practice, you do so the same in life. You learn to let go of past grudges, physically letting go of the things around us that no longer serve us and are blocking better things from coming into our lives because of the place we have given them in our life.

7. Acknowledge ourselves: after the practice session, we learn to acknowledge ourselves and feel good about facing whatever the challenges that we did on the mat for that day, similarly we need to learn to acknowledge ourselves in life to get past our challenges.


Kalpana is a certified Life Coach (ICF) and a certified Eating Psychology Coach from The Institute For The Psychology Of Eating. Her main goal in her coaching practice is to help people to love themselves "now" as opposed to waiting to do that only when they "get there." She has a true passion for helping people cultivate unconditional love for themselves, and helping people to form healthy relationships with food.

NIETZSCHE'S ETERNAL RETURN

Asked about Nietzsche’s eternal return.

Living the same life every day, doing the same things every day for eternity.

I was asked if I could survive that.  

I asked in return, "Do you mean, by this question, the same acts each getting out bed, getting dressed, going to work, eating, walking, interacting?  Or, do you mean how I do these things, how I approach life?

That each day I awaken to a new day, with the light in a slightly different place, see the beauty of the natural world, breathe & approach with wonder.

What will I see today,  how will it be, how will I react?

What clouds, rainbows, shadows of sun will light the mountains?

What venue will I find to allow myself to flow?

What emotional dramas will I create to entertain us?

What suffering will I experience?

How will I heed the song of my heart? What will it sing?

The second I could do for eternity."

Source: www.nikaannon.com

Grace

In saying grace for the food we eat, thank also those who bring it to us.

 

Thank the soil

The plants

The children picking food in pesticide filled fields

The animals raised without light and sun and dirt and freedom

To the sun

The rain

The earth

The insects that pollinate it

The winds, the rain and snow.  

 

The humans who toil

The oil in the trucks

The trucks and truckers

The plastic it comes wrapped in.  

 

The compost it creates

The fertility of what our bodies turn it into.

 

The water that washes the food

The dishes

The human waste

 

We are part of wholeness

Let us be grateful.


Nika Annon incorporates Nuero-linguistic programming (NLP) & Nuero-plasticity techniques to help individuals move beyond limiting beliefs & assumptions that hold them back & create new habits to reinforce the changes which create the desired outcomes. To learn more about Nika, please visit www.nikaannon.com

Source: www.nikaannon.com

What is the worst possible scenario that could be? It’s not always our truth!

Don’t let the title of this article lead you to a negative mindset, it’s not meant to. It is all about shifting to a more positive and realistic frame of mind. In coaching we call this “safety net” coaching and we use it to let clients explore what the worst possible outcome in a situation might be, because most of the time it isn’t the truth and just a story or a flurry of thoughts that we create in our minds that only serves us by holding us back and keep us stuck in non-movement and in a place of fear. It came to mind for me earlier today as fear came up for me. It was then that I realized that I had unknowingly used safety net coaching in my own life challenges and I thought I would share some examples of what that looks like. Fear can be a very real feeling, yet it can also be a debilitating one and in that sense not real and it holds us back from what we truly want.

So for me in certain life challenges and to get to the next level I had to ask myself the question: “What is the worst possible thing that could happen?” When I thought about the worst and wrapped my mind around that, I think it lead me to: “Ok, so what is the best possible outcome?” and it allowed me to process things in a more realistic and present mindset.

When I was deciding if I wanted to end a marriage in my late 20’s, I was terrified to leave the relationship for many reasons and I thought of what the worst possible outcome could be, and there really was none. In fact, the worst possible scenario would have been if I stayed in the relationship and remained unhappy and looked back in the same place years later with regret.

In my 30’s I experienced the traumatic event of my mother’s passing and giving birth to my daughter within days. I was in a very dark place called a “grief induced post-partum depression.” For me simply being in that state was the worst possible scenario, so I finally managed to shift out of it (with much support in many areas) to a place of turning all of my negative life experiences into positive ones.

In my 40’s I was diagnosed with breast cancer and that was definitely a game changer for me because I was consciously aware at that time and the thoughts and emotions kept flowing around my mortality, around where my life was going, around my career, my relationship and my children. I remember thinking at that time also: “What is the worst possible thing that could happen?” The answer there was that I could not control this diagnosis and that yes, the worst case scenario would be I could die. Being a religious person and one with a very deep connection to faith, I was willing to accept that if it was, but that didn’t stop me from thinking about what could be and what would be and that was the best possible scenario. So when I got passed the place of what the worst could be, I was able to get to what the best possible outcome could be and although it would be a painful and emotional experience, I could walk through what I had to face, get the care and treatment that I needed and then get back to managing my relationships, my career, the care of my children and of myself.

More recently I experienced this with a career change. After 30 years in one field, I decided to start two new businesses. My initial reaction was to immediately revert to safety and took a very well-paying job where someone else would employ me. This didn’t sit well in me for long in my gut and I decided to nix that choice and go with opening up both businesses. Again, I asked myself: “What’s the worst case scenario?” The answer was simple: “If I failed I could always go back to safe, but if I didn’t explore the fear the regret would be even worse!” So here’s the thing, by exploring the worst possible scenario came the birth of the best case scenario and what exists now for me, the opening and sustaining of both businesses and the flexibility to pursue my passion.

So you see, most of the time we go on automatic pilot and think the only thing that can happen is the worst possible scenario, when in reality that is so far from the truth because we have so many options open and available to us.

Even if we do have to face the “worst possible scenario” we can do it in a place where we live in the moment and we make choices on how we want to move forward. I am seeing it via a colleague who is facing a “worst case scenario” in terms of an illness that is very real and she still walks and lives in a space of her best possible scenario every day. I have to say I am truly amazed and inspired and so happy to know her and be taught by her. We are forever all teachers and students and we were put on this earth to explore and make choices. 


Gina Costa, CPC, ELI-MP is the founder of New Beginnings Coaching Services, LLC, which helps women diagnosed with breast cancer cope, step by step, with the emotional and physical challenges they experience, so they gain confidence and feel in control of their life again. To learn more about Gina and her coaching practice, visit http://www.newbeginningswithgina.com/

Source: http://www.newbeginningswithgina.com

The world is your oyster... so go ahead and SHUCK IT!

I celebrated a birthday in January and received one card specifically that really got me to thinking. My dear friend wrote "The world is your oyster... so go ahead and SHUCK IT!" I love that term, not that I hadn't heard it before, but to associate it with myself and what this year has the potential to be about is so real for me that I had to share.

How many times do you see and feel things for others that you don't apply to yourself? Why is it that everyone else is worthy of making the big IT happen and we go on living our ordinary lives, devoid of our own IT??

Well, the answer to that question is the person who looks back at you in the mirror! It's really about how you see yourself, how you support yourself, and how you get in your own way towards reaching your intended goal. It's about you not letting yourself off the hook, about you carving out and keeping that time for you and what's important. It’s about putting a stop to consistently putting other people and things in your way and using them as an excuse. (whoa)... I know, I may have hit a nerve, but dammit, I'm talking to myself too!

Half of the reason why we aren't where we want to be is because we do not make ourselves a priority, often times believing and behaving as if we're the only ones who can get a certain things done. Am I right? What would happen if we suspend that idea and let others take care of themselves first. I’m not suggesting that we totally abandon our family, friends, and commitments. The challenge to myself and you is to think about you FIRST.

Here's my short list of ways that will support me as I SHUCK IT this year. Feel free to make it your own or add to it!

  • Write it down/journal - My single most effective form of outlet.
  • Record it - Not my cup of tea, but may work for you
  • Use your most creative hours in the day to create (every day) - for me 5 - 7 am (I know.. crazy, right?)
  • Put it in the calendar - Keeps you timely
  • Stay out of overwhelm - once your calendar is populated, manage it properly
  • Just say No – “No” is a complete sentence. Once you get into explaining why “no” is “no”, you will talk yourself into something.
  • Work out/exercise - together with early morning creative time??? Game over!
  • Co-create - find a partners) who shares your vision and will share the load.
  • Use technology for reminders - never hurts, so use it
  • Cross it off when it's complete - This motivates me!
  • Schedule time for facebook, and other social media outlets - They are good for some things but not during my creative times
  • Schedule time for e-mail - this disciplines not only you, but the people you respond to
  • Get help from a coach - "Everybody needs somebody, sometimes!" Every coach needs a coach. I have one, do you? I would be more than happy to be a resource to you!
  • Finish what you start - plan how you're either going to a) finish it or b) delegate it; or c) delete it. Thanks David Allen - Author of "Getting Things Done"
  • Just do it - plain and simple... shut it down, stop with the excuses, and get it done!

This is just the beginning of great ways to shuck it this year. Please comment and add to the list!

Promise yourself that you'll do it for you. If you need accountability, connect with a friend who will hold your feet to the fire. I would be more than happy to do the same.

Click here for accountability NOW!

May 2015 be the year you SHUCK IT!

My hope & prayer is that you find your pearl along the way!


Tamarra Causley Robinson has 20+ years of experience as an IT Professional and through the many fluctuations in world of IT, uses her experience of staying relevant and prepared for change within her coaching firm, Causley Robinson & Associates where Tamarra serves as the CEO, Lead Coach and Consultant. Tamarra is a game-changer and specializes in assisting professionals who are grappling with self-imposed or organizational change by encouraging, and assisting as they work through emotions of fear, helplessness and hopelessness that change creates to a safe place of forward movement, confidence and power. Through her coaching program, clients adopt new bold and courageous ways of living their lives, unapologetically! To learn more, visit www.dare2doitnow.com

Source: www.dare2doitnow.com

The Greatness of Optimal: Ending the Work-Life Balance Myth

Can 2015 mark the year we end our Sisyphean work-life balance pursuit? It seems that we’ve been looking for this magical firewall between work and life for most of my working career, and we can’t seem to find it. 

So what’s up?

It’s a myth. During the halcyon days of the mid-80s, when work-life balance was first referenced, we didn’t have to contend with today’s ubiquitous connectivity.  With the innovation of email, smart phones, and social media, the line between work and life is blurred at best.  So let’s stop searching for the comprise of work life and personal life balance. Rather, let’s take action to maximize our fulfillment, happiness, and mindfulness in our one life.

Based on my experience as an executive, business leadership coach, and motivational speaker, the genesis of our work-life drama usually starts at work even as we carve out personal time for exercise, downtime, etc. As a result, if work is less than ideal, then it’s hard to live a full life. Here are 3 steps to gain more fulfillment at work.

Alignment

Get clear on your values and take action that aligns with them.  Determine what gets you jazzed and ensure that your daily choices align to your values.

Beliefs

What gives you that “I got this and here’s how” confidence? It’s your inner greatness.  You know it.  It’s led to your success.  However, we also have moments when that inner critic steps in, plants doubt, and stirs up fear.  An optimal life isn’t possible when we listen to that inner critic. It sucks the potential out of us.  Learn how to lead with your inner greatness.

Calendar Choices

Own your time! Stop sacrificing your joy and success by settling for ineffective meetings.  You get to choose how you meet and connect with your co-workers.

Here are some easy steps to get more out of your meetings:

  1.  Start and end on time
  2. Shorten your meetings by at least 15 minutes. Get focused and use your extra time for planning, reflecting, or biology
  3. Stop multitasking
  4. Set up more “Walk and Talk” meetings
  5. Accept/send meeting requests with a set agenda and objectives
  6. Decline meetings without a clear purpose
  7. Increase the laughter factor
  8. Agree on clear action steps and ownership

Living these A, B, Cs can help you gain more happiness at work.  Make 2015 the year you trade the compromise of balance for the greatness of optimal. To learn more contact me at Michael@pelotoncc.net.


In his coaching practice, Peloton Coaching & Consulting, Michael O'Brien partners with today's business leaders to help them move from functional performance to optimal performance. His aim is to change lives by enhancing leadership energy, engagement, and fulfillment, and demonstrating how these qualities can cascade throughout organizations. To Learn more about Michael and Peloton Coaching & Consulting, visit www.pelotoncc.net.

Source: www.pelotoncc.net

Dance

Listening to a discussion of Shamanism on the radio, I hear dancing as an aspect of shamanism referred to as pejoratively.  Indigenous people do, “dance around, wear headdresses and blow smoke at you “…  

In my life, I have spent many years participating in indigenous ceremonies.

The dances expressing the essence have been the most profound, exquisite, healing, bonding and creative song to multiplicity of our worlds. 

One of the reasons I feel such confusion about contemporary western psychological shamanism is that there is no dancing, that the community aspect of shamanism is missing. 

I first heard buffalo songs in womb if indeed they were not what called me into this life. 

An intact ceremonial dance is created from a community, from its deep history  thousands of years of dancing, looking at buffalo dancers thousands of years of buffalo dancers present past and future dance there, the multiverse opens to hold us in its sweet compassionate embrace. 

Songs are created from heart, history and knowing, singing of gratitude for all that we receive, life breaths wisdom, light night, plant life, animal life, rock life, mountain and river life, sunlight, stars, wind, song, dance, creativity.  A specific group in a specific place in a specific time dons the dance. In the fullness of ceremony a community is called together, preparations are made, logs are gathered, food is prepared, songs are prepared, dances are prepared, hearts are prepared, souls are prepared, our sweet frail humanness is prepared. There is fasting, fasting from meat, from salt, from anger list hatred, revenge, fear, shame, pride.  Each cleanses the earth, the heart, the village, the body, the soul, the song, the community, the dance.   Step by note the community reweaves life consciously, with beauty and love, with receptivity and release.

In dance the community honors and shines its wholeness, it is not individuals, it is a living organism expanded through the multiverse beyond space and time. We each with great reverence and joy take up our note, our step, our thread in weaving of reality.  With the song and dances our hearts beat as one, we move into deep reality the rich compassionate multiplicity of being.  

We dance to create the world
— Marcello

Nika Annon incorporates Nuero-linguistic programming (NLP) & Nuero-plasticity techniques to help individuals move beyond limiting beliefs & assumptions that hold them back & create new habits to reinforce the changes which create the desired outcomes. To learn more about Nika, please visit www.nikaannon.com

Source: www.nikaannon.com

What the World Needs Now: LOVE

“What the world needs now is love, sweet love.  It’s the only thing that there’s much too little of.”

-          Bert Bacharach/Diana Ross

As we approach Valentine’s Day, a group of coaches from Life Coach Radio Networks decided to work on shifting the energy in the world – one person, and one action, at a time.

There are bad things that are going on in the world.  Wars. Sickness. Political stagnation and back biting. Violence. Racism and other prejudices. It’s enough to make you pull the cover over your head. But the great thing about living an empowered life is that we can CHOOSE our response to negativity.

Life Coach Radio Networks is proud to announce a new initiative:

One Love. One People. Kindness in Motion.

We are inviting positive people all over to join us in a 10 Day Kindness Challenge.  Join us by dedicating 10 days to being nicer, kinder, and more loving – through specific person-to-person actions.

Each day, do something nice for another person. It can be a stretch… like buying something significant for a family in need, or providing a homeless person with a meal (instead of spare change), or a recent trend to give a 100% tip (how cool is that). Or it can be simple. Pay a compliment. Smile. Initiate conversation with a co-worker that you were at odds with. Forgive a family member who wronged you.  And once you take on the challenge – pay it forward. Invite 2 or 3 people to do the same.  If you want to share on social media feel free. Or do it in a smaller, more anonymous way. But let’s do something good. 

 WHY ME? WHY NOW?

There are many benefits to being nice. It reduces stress, helps you feel more connected and increases your lifespan.  People who are more generous experience less depression and improve relationships.See The Benefits of Generosity, Lisa Firestone

Also, we all know that forgiveness is more for the person who is doing the forgiving than the offender.  Smiling releases endorphins, which helps us feel less stress, and releases the harmful stress hormone cortisol. See7 Benefits of Smiling and Laughing, Jennifer Smith  So clearly, doing something for others is equally beneficial to ourselves. 

OUR WORLD NEEDS YOU

But above all that, the world is hurting right now. We live in an age of instant gratification, stress, and constant exposure to all the negative news. Our media outlets stress the bad more than the good, which can contribute to why people are feeling like things are just bad all over. We need to restore hope in humanity – in our inherent goodness.  That we ALL MATTER – no matter what our race, income or sexual orientation.  I AM YOU. And YOU ARE ME. 

Join us, won’t you? Let’s do something GOOD…. TOGETHER.  Visit http://www.lifecoachradionetworks.com/1love1peoplekindnessinmotion/ for details.

Russell Terry, Jr.  Founder & Executive Producer, Life Coach Radio Networks, Author of My Gratitude Journal

Trina Ramsey, Career & Life Coach, Host of “Career Talk with Coach Trina” on Life Coach Radio Networks  www.trinaramsey.com


BENEFITS OF GENEROSITY

The Benefits of Generosity, Lisa Firestone

The Benefits of Generosity, Lisa Firestone, Huffington Post 6/13/14

Not only does generosity reduce stress, support one's physical health, enhance one's sense of purpose, and naturally fight depression, it is also shown to increase one's lifespan.

If a longer, less stressful and more meaningful life is not enough to inspire you to rev up your practice of generosity, consider that generosity also promotes a social connection and improves relationships


7 Benefits of Smiling and Laughing, Jennifer Smith

7 Benefits of Smiling and Laughing

1. Neurotransmitters called endorphins are released when you smile.

These are triggered by the movements of the muscles in your face, which is interpreted by your brain, which in turn releases these chemicals. Endorphins are responsible for making us feel happy, and they also help lower stress levels. Faking a smile or laugh works as well as the real thing—the brain doesn’t differentiate between real or fake as it interprets the positioning of the facial muscles in the same way. This is known as the facial feedback hypothesis. The more we stimulate our brain to release this chemical the more often we feel happier and relaxed.

 2. Endorphins make us feel happier and less stressed.

They also act as the body’s natural pain killers. For sufferers of chronic pain, laughing and smiling can be very effective in pain management, as can laughing off the pain when you bump an elbow or fall over.

 3. While the release of endorphins is increased, the stress hormone cortisol is reduced.

Cortisol is more active when we feel stressed or anxious and contributes to the unpleasant feelings we experience, and by lowering it we can reduce these negative feelings.

 4. Laughing expands the lungs, stretches the muscles in the body and stimulates homeostasis.

This exercises the body, replenishing the cells from a lungful of oxygen and gaining all the benefits of exercising the body.

 5. A good laugh can be an effective way to release emotions.

A good laugh can help you release emotions, especially those emotions that you might bottle up inside. Everything looks that little bit better after a good laugh and life can be seen from a more positive perspective. Smiling and laughing have positive social implications as well.

 6. Smiling is an attractive expression, which is more likely to draw people to you rather than push them away.

Smiling makes you appear more approachable. Interaction with others is easier and more enjoyable when smiles and laughs are shared, and these behaviours are contagious, making others feel better too, and make you a more appealing and attractive person to be around. This in turn will have a positive effect on your well-being.

 7. A happy, positive expression will serve you well in life.

This is particularly  true for challenging situations such as job interviews: a smiling, relaxed persona indicates confidence and an ability to cope well in stressful situations. This will also be of benefit in your career, building healthy relationships with colleagues and being seen in a favourable light by your employers.


The Health Benefits Of Generosity – It Really Is Better To Give Than Receive

POSTED BY STUART FARRIMOND 

Science is increasingly showing us that being outward-focused and generous is linked to better health. In recent years, medics and psychologists have been discovering what good things happen inside the body when we do good things for others. One important experiment showed that when volunteers were given cash to spend on someone else they felt markedly less shame and more positive thoughts than when spending that amount of money on themselves. Yes, feeling good after giving might seem obvious, but this experiment also showed that one charitable act can change the body’s internal chemistry – significantly lowering levels of potentially harmful stress hormones.

For it is a life with high levels of stress hormones (particularly one called cortisol) that increases our risk of many health issues: digestive problems, heart disease, diabetes, chronic pain, weight gain and depression. Lack of sleep, poor work-life balance and excessive alcohol all lead to high cortisol levels; whereas relaxation, massage and exercise can bring the levels back down again. Now that we know that big-heartedness also helps undo the ravages of modern life it one more reason to be pleased it’s Christmas. Be it a shoebox, a stocking filler, or a phone call to Aunty, acts of kindness big and small can work wonders.