This is not the Mother’s Day essay I intended to write

This is not the Mother’s Day essay I intended to write.  

This essay is about me. It’s about how I learned forty-year-old woman can act like petulant toddlers – and their Moms will still love them.  This is the absolute uncensored truth on all levels.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom, (aka Grandma Macaroni). I love you.

I bicker with my Mom.

I roll my eyes at my Mom.

I am exasperated with my Mom when she buys my child expensive birthday / Christmas / Easter / no reason other than she wanted to presents.

She ‘just wants to’ frequently, so I’m frequently exasperated.

I am frustrated with my Mom when she morphs into a short order cook and meets my child’s utterly random requests for ‘melty cheese’ or ‘macaroni and peas’ or ‘the good crackers.’  I am most especially frustrated because I have no earthly clue which crackers are the ‘good’ crackers. This is their little game, and if I’m honest, I’m a little jealous.

I am irritated with my Mom when she brushes me off and gives my child another cookie. Extra cookies happen often, so yes, you guessed it – I am irritated often.

This past week I sat with my coffee and my laptop, morning after morning, trying to summon the great American Mother’s Day essay. Concentrating and meditating and deleting, as the words just never seemed right, never seemed enough.

I was searching for words of love and wonder. But, those words packed themselves up for a holiday without notice, leaving me dry. In a final, desperate bid to summon words, any useful words, I flipped back through old journals.  Surely reading my words, written in my hand would unstick the spigot – it had to, I had deadlines and time waits for no writer.

So I sat reading my journals. Leafing recklessly though pages that contained lists of what I was grateful to have in my life, plans for the future, recollections and hopes and joys. I was flipping back and forth a bit recklessly when I slammed into the wall of fear and pain. Stung by the scrawl I didn’t recognize as my own, I read the entries full of fear I wrote last winter.  I noted how my letters were bigger, loopier, rushed and raw. I wanted to turn the pages and run from my words, but I was stuck there by the stinging, searing, memories. For three months I was gripped by a variety of fears as my mom, who I can’t recall even having the flu was desperately sick.  Some unknown bizarre infection was wreaking havoc in every sense of the word - and I was powerless.  I was frantic, powerless and lost. I closed my eyes and willed the images away, but still I remembered the phone calls to and from my brother and father. I remembered keeping the phone ringer at full volume so I wouldn’t miss a call or text. I couldn’t miss a call or text.

I was submerged by the memories of the vows I made that began ‘If my mom is ok.”

If my Mom is ok I’ll let her buy my child whatever she wants to.

If my Mom is ok I’ll never be snide when she asks me to call to say I got home ok.

If my Mom is ok I’ll never complain that she lets the baby watch TV.

If my Mom is ok I’ll never roll my eyes when she questions my parenting.

If my Mom is ok I’ll never chastise her for undermining my parental authority.

If my Mom is ok… If my Mom is ok… If my Mom is ok…

Had I fulfilled any of those vows? Any? Even for a short time?

Didn’t I just question why she bought another American Girl outfit? Wasn’t it last month I pleaded with her to keep the Easter baskets reasonable this year? I allowed the first cookie so why, I recalled asking, did she have to push it to two cookies? And for the love of life could someone tell me which crackers are the ‘good crackers’ so I know which brand to buy?

Stunned the clock brought me back. Another day’s office hours resulted in nothing productive and know the toddler needed to be picked up.  I put the old journals back, splashed water on my face and hit the Starbucks between my front door and school pickup line. Yes, I had made coffee that morning, but it grew cold and sour while I tripped on my memories. Not much in life is worse than cold coffee or broken vows, besides I needed the familiarity of the drive thru to steady me. I needed the caffeine to snap me back.

It was raining so we couldn’t play on the schoolyard slide.  As my toddler waved good-bye to classmates, I noticed the quivering lip, the sad forlorn brown eyes and sensed my window to restore calm was closing – quickly.  I knelt to explain we’d play another day, steeling myself in case this mission went south with the reminder: this kid saves the tantrums for me because I’m the safe harbor. I’m the person it is safe to screech at, stamp feet at and glare at while yelling, “I’m so frustrated.”

I get to deal with the tantrums because I’m Mom.

My love is sure and absolute.

My love is constant and relentless.

That absolute, relentless love despite anything this kid throws at me is the love that Moms talk about when we say we’d do anything for our kids. Anything to see them happy, see them safe, see them spared of pain or robbed of joy.  Maybe those moments when being the Mom is tough are really gifts; I get to prove that fierce love over and over and over… and Please Lord over and over and over and over for a long time to come.

Standing in the cold spring rain I realized I didn’t really break those vows. I was just testing the limits of a more mature Mother / Daughter bond. Giving her the gift of loving her child over and over and over and over and Thank You Sweet Lord over and over and over again.

My Mom’s love is without question and therefore, can tolerate eye rolls, snide comments and exasperated sighs. I looked deep into those big brown eyes and said, “Hey, you want to call Grandma?”

“Good crackers?” the small voice asked?

I replied “Sure, Mommy promises to ask Grandma were to get the good crackers.”


Jennifer Bellber is a Certified Professional Life Coach & Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner. She's a wife, mother of a toddler, sometimes blogger, photographer for fun and charitable causes, slow runner and weight lifting enthusiast who reduced her physical self by 120 pounds a few years ago. 

Jennifer's passion is helping overwhelmed parents figure out who they want to be when their kids grow up, ditch the Mommy Guilt (or Daddy Guilt as the case may be) and live a connected, empowered, wickedly amazing sexy life of their own design.

To learn more about Jennifer, visit: www.jenniferbellber.com

Source: www.jenniferbellber.com

Remember The Caregivers!

(Editor’s Note: Gina & Russ – fellow coaches and friends in New Jersey – have different cancer experiences and collaborated on this blog for the benefit of you and those around you.)

GINA:

Sometimes we are so caught up in our recovery that we forget about the needs of others. It wasn’t until almost a year after my first surgery for a double mastectomy that I became aware of what my husband was going through in terms of my cancer diagnosis. I was so involved in taking an active role in my recovery (not to say that this is not a positive action) and the well-being of my children that it didn’t even dawn on me what my husband was going through in the process and I don’t even think he thought about himself either since his primary focus was caring for me.   So this one day about a year after my surgeries and treatment we were having a discussion and he described to me how difficult it was for him not to worry about recurrence of my cancer and it opened up a door to a conversation about the emotions of what he had been feeling all throughout the year long experience we had been through.

I was actually devastated at the thought that I hadn’t even been focusing on what he was going through internally. Caregivers, while they are carrying their own burden can sometimes get lost in the journey. We have to be consciously aware of the emotions that they are going through in the process as well and this is why it is so important for caregivers to feed themselves while caring for their loves ones and for us as survivors, even though we are carrying our own load, to recognize the pain of what our caregivers are experiencing and to simply say: “Thank you” for remaining by our side.

When we look back it’s all so simple, all we have to do is have a conversation, speak up, express our feelings and ask for what we need and what the other person needs in return even if we are afraid to do so.

It’s all about fluid conversations and getting past our fears so that we can remain united and healthy in facing our journey together.

So today, I ask that you tell your caregiver how much their love and support has meant to you on your journey and to ask them what they are experiencing and feeling so that you can give back to them in return.

RUSS:

Gina makes such excellent points.  I so admire her for her strength and insight (and of course her friendship).  Luckily for me, I haven’t been diagnosed with cancer.  My Mom has though – Stage Zero Breast Cancer this Summer.  I can say now that it has had a happy ending.  She’s finished with her radiation and doesn’t need chemo.  Thank goodness.  We’re all very grateful. 

Overall, my experience as a caregiver was positive, because of the support of those around me.  I needed them just like my Mom needed me.  Somewhat early on in her process of dealing with the cancer, I asked if it was alright with her if I posted about it on my Facebook, and luckily for me, she said “please do whatever it takes to get the support you want and need”.  Because of the work I do as an Entrepreneur and Coach, my use of social media is rather frequent and I talk a lot about what’s going on in my life personally and professionally.  For that period where I was coming to terms with what may happen and what was happening, but hadn’t mentioned it broadly, I felt as if I wasn’t living an authentic life.  For me, talking about it publicly was needed.  Much-needed actually.  Once I announced it, the floodgates opened with love and support that still hasn’t stopped 3.5 months later.  It energizes me, and my Mom, who very much appreciates the kind words from people she’s met and many she’s never met.

This may resonate with you, or you may have a very different style.  Whatever you need is your decision, and I’d bet that the people around you will support you in however you want to be treated. 

Here’s my message for everyone reading this:  If you’re a patient, carve out just a little time for the caregivers in your life.  If you’re a caregiver, take time for your own self-care.  Think about what you need and then don’t be shy in telling others.  Lastly, if you know a caregiver, ask them what they need and how you can best support them.

Good luck on your journey!

Love,

Gina & Russ


Gina Costa-Goldfarb is a breast cancer survivor and Certified Professional Coach. She helps women diagnosed with breast cancer cope, step by step, with the emotional and physical challenges they experience, so they gain confidence and feel in control of their life again. For more on her, go to www.newbeginningswithgina.com.


Russ Terry is a Gratitude guru who’s helping to make the world a happier and more grateful place.  Earlier this year, he published his first book:  My Gratitude Journal:  365 days of the people & things I’m grateful for and the lessons you can learn from them.  He has two more books on Gratitude due out in 2015. For more on him, go to www.russterrylifecoach.com.

A Heartfelt Thanks To My Mum

To the one who gave me a Beautiful #gift called #LIFE – My Mother!!

My GRATITUDE list is endless, but here are a few reasons that make her special. I'd like to extend a heartfelt THANKS to my mum for:

  1. Making that choice of putting my happiness and well-being ahead of her own.
  2. Teaching me the hard lessons to do the right things.
  3. Making me strong and confident and to become independent in life.
  4. Being there always as a strong pillar of support.
  5. Being strong in my weak times
  6. Walking my path with me and not leave my side.
  7. Being my VALENTINE this year and every year – You showed me the real meaning of “LOVE”
  8. FORGIVING me again and again and again for every mistake I made in my life.
  9. ACCEPTING me the way I am with my flaws.
  10. LOVING me UNCONDITIONALLY in this selfish world.

Thank you Mom for everything!! I wish to make you proud someday and to also see you “Happy”.


Kusha Kalra is a passionate Facilitator and High Impact Presentation Designer. Friends and colleagues know her for the positivity and magnificent vibrancy that she exhibits in her training sessions. The innovations and creativity have left a lasting impression on the audiences.

Kusha is certified coach from International Coach Academy and is keen on helping people in their pursuit of happiness. To learn more, visit: www.happylives.in

Source: www.happylives.in

What Is Weighing You Down?

Weight loss can be as simple as “Exercise more and eat less”! That can work but short term only. The weight that is lost in this way will almost always come back because we have not gone to the root of the problem. We have not figured out what is weighing us down.

Many of us are carrying emotional baggage from past hurt, from abusive/unhappy relationships, not being able to pursue our passion, lack of love, being lonely, past guilt or shame (which is a big one). When we have not healed these emotional issues it becomes hard to “move”.

What can we do to help heal ourselves and in turn be able to get up and “move”?

1. Forgive others and forgive yourself

2. Keep communication open in our relationships and pay attention to what is not working

3. Always spend some time in doing what makes us happy i.e pursuing a hobby, a sport, spending time with friends

4. Seek professional help i.e coaching/ counseling if it seems like it will help

5. Taking lots of deep breaths, laughing out loud and loving ourselves and our loved ones more!!!


Kalpana is a certified Life Coach (ICF) and a certified Eating Psychology Coach from The Institute For The Psychology Of Eating. Her main goal in her coaching practice is to help people to love themselves "now" as opposed to waiting to do that only when they "get there." She has a true passion for helping people cultivate unconditional love for themselves, and helping people to form healthy relationships with food.

 

Love Doesn’t Have To Be Scandalous!

Let Me Set The Scene: 

“You’ve just spent the perfect evening with your “man”. He compliments your outfit and then proceeds to enquire about your day, and lovingly holds your hand while dining in a quiet, dimmed-lit cafe; then out of the blue, he presents you with an early birthday gift. Your evening is complete back at your place as you snuggle under the sheets to “get your groove on”. With a parting kiss to your forehead, he makes a quick exit before he can reply to your question about birthday plans. 

Before you know it, the day has arrived and everything is ready. Your favorite CD croons in the background as apple cider wafts through the apartment. His work schedule is relentless so you send a quick “Thinking about you” text, and then cry off from your girlfriends’ happy hour meet up without too much explanation. As the hours go by, you finally decide to call him only to hear the laughter of children in the background and a woman’s voice asking about gift advice for his mother! Surprise surprise, he hangs up and you go straight to voicemail when you anxiously call back.”

The Sad Truth

Face it, whether he’s in a committed relationship, engaged or married, he will never be yours for keeps. You are merely a distraction that not even the sexiest Victoria’s Secret ensemble can fix.

Today we have shows like Scandal (Olivia Pope), Mistresses (Dr Karen Kim) and Being Mary Jane (Mary Jane Paul) where the leading ladies become entangled in equally complicated relationships and spend their time alone during holidays and special occasions. I’m sure we all secretly or publicly know women in the exact same scenario who seem powerless to walk away.

How To Break The Cycle

Here are the top 5 challenges for women who inherently attract difficult rather than real love:

1.      Façade of confidence – appearing to be in control

2.      Addicted to discreet, short-term no obligations lifestyle

3.      Feelings of powerlessness or afraid of ending up alone

4.      Lack of a relationship exit plan and difficulty in motivating themselves to establish one

5.      Self-sabotage before, during, or after the relationship

We are each a product of our own belief system and life experiences, and naturally tend to imitate our female family members.  For many of us however, we ultimately learn about relationships from unhealthy environments or entertainment sources. Although a valuable lesson, this education often leaves many questions unanswered as we begin to meander our way through the journey that brings us closer to love.  Simply put, we are ill-prepared and blind to the spiritual, mental and emotional energy required to build and sustain a healthy relationship.

Self-Evaluation For A Better Way

You deserve to be in a better place and moving forwards. Consider this:

1.      What purpose does a complex relationship serve in your life? 

2.      Who was your role model for relationships and marriage?

3.      What does love, sex and relationship mean to you?

4.      Energy attracts like energy. What type of relationship experiences would you like to attract into your life?

You can bet that when his family events are over, he will attempt to rekindle the flame. If and when that happens, be honest and ask yourself what’s more important – having love by any means necessary, or embracing your love under a public spotlight? Just remember there is more to life than being the object of someone else’s pleasure.

Making It Happen

Don’t wait until something bad happens or get caught before you take action to make a change. People who want to lose weight do so because it will contribute to a better quality of life. It is up to you to make changes in how you view your own self-image and how to navigate to the real relationship you desire.

For women who are ready to achieve their relationship goals but may not know how to create actionable steps to achieve them or have relationship questions, you can contact Debrah at AskDebrah@Just4MyGirls.com.


Debrah Mathis, PC, ELI-MP is a highly sough-after Life, Career and Relationship coach who works with you to develop a personally effective style of leadership that positively influences and changes not only yourself, but also those with whom you work and interact, as well as your family and relationships as a whole. Visit: www.EngagetoSuccess.com

Source: www.EngagetoSuccess.com

Please Don’t Speak For Me, Sheryl

I almost lost my mind while watching a brief clip of an interview Arianna Huffington did with Sheryl Sandberg...Then, subsequently read her New York Times piece entitled, “Speaking While Female.”... Like, I may have yelled at my computer screen in reaction to the content. In the clip and referenced article, which was embedded in a Huffington Post piece entitled, “Sheryl Sandberg: ‘It’s Still Hard to Speak In a Professional Setting As a Woman,” what I heard her say was, in order for women to feel more comfortable speaking up in Corporate America, everyone OTHER THAN WOMEN has to change. And, since the message I heard is perpetuating the notion that we, as women, are (still) victims, I would like to ask that you, Sheryl, please not speak for me. I don’t feel like a victim. I have never felt like a victim (except for when I actually was one, growing up in my crazy, dysfunctional home.) I was never scared to speak in meetings and never felt ignored. That’s not to say I haven’t been ignored, I just don’t think I took it personally and probably spoke up about it because I think it’s rude.

This is what you said that made me go a little bit crazy...

”Even with all the progress we’ve made, it’s still really hard to speak in a professional setting as a woman. Women face real barriers….As human beings, we are incredibly sensitive to people’s reactions. If you watch someone say something, you see how the person reacts...the person who’s speaking reacts. And, as women, we kind of fall in one of two paths…..either we speak out aggressively and affirmatively and are results focused and then people often think, you know, she’s not nice. I don’t like her. She’s too aggressive. OR, we’re quiet and spoken over. We’re interrupted more, we take more notes in meetings, we sit in the back more and that’s really hurting women’s ability to get to leadership.” And, then she goes on to ask that people start calling on women first “Obamastyle” (as he did when he only called on female reporters in his most recent press conference) so that women get to speak.

For reference, here are the links to the Huffington Post interview and NY Times articles:

HuffPo clip: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/23/sheryl-sandberg-davos_n_6506188.html

NY Times piece: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/opinion/sunday/speaking-while-female.html

First let me say that, as much as I love Obama, what he did by calling, only on women, was an incredibly calculated, yet effective, PR move. I mean, it created the phrase, “Obamastyle,” for you to use to support your argument. Next, I’d like to ask...

  • Are ‘we’ as human beings all really incredibly sensitive to people’s reactions?
  • If ‘we’ are, why is it so and, what does it cost us as human beings? Maybe just some of us are somewhat sensitive and some, not at all?
  • Could ‘we’ ever include men?
  • Do ‘we’ really only fall into only two paths? Either aggressive or quiet?....That’s it?

Maybe there are some other options?

I believe the message is antiquated and not addressing the real problem at hand, which is a matter of confidence and authenticity…. period. I also believe confidence and authenticity or, the lack there of, is gender neutral.

Confidence and authenticity come from within. Both come with self-examination, self-awareness and self-acceptance. Both come from allowing ourselves to be who we are, not who we THINK we should be. Faking it, overcompensating or throwing in the towel if they are lacking, are unfortunate alternatives and glaringly obvious...even on an unconscious level.

Instead of perpetuating the notion that women are being victimized, how about offering a solution to help them help themselves? Why not have a dialogue about this, and not state it’s everyone else’s problem to fix? So, instead of speaking FOR women in a way that makes them seem like damsels in distress, why not ask: 

  • Why do some women feel this way?
  • Why use the word aggressive, not assertive?
  • Do you, Sheryl, feel uncomfortable when you speak up?
  • Did you once, but don’t anymore? And, if not, what changed? This could be helpful for women to know.
  • What are ALL of the variables that exist in these male/female scenarios? Is it not possible that, as with some men, not all questions or talking points made by all women are good points? For example, some people speak up in groups because they want attention, not because they have something relevant to say. Women AND men.
  • Why is being “liked” even an issue? It’s not for most men. (Remember that line from A League of Their Own about no crying in baseball?)
  • Is it possible that women’s feelings of self-consciousness come across when they speak up, thus making them less engaging? This must also happen when men speak too, no?
  • Do women feel the need to overcompensate for their lack of confidence by being aggressive? Is it like the 2015 equivalent to wearing shoulder pads, as women did in the 80s to appear, in physique, more like men?

And, with regard to all of these rude men…

  • Would it not be beneficial to ask them why they think it’s ok to speak over a woman when she starts to speak? There could be an overcompensation (confidence issue) there too.

In your book, you asked women to lean in. Did you ask women to ask themselves why they don’t? In your NY Times piece, you cited studies that support your argument but, what about studies on the importance and effectiveness of confidence?

I am entirely for equality, across the board, and for getting rid of discrimination. I absolutely believe that the equal pay issue needs to be resolved. However, I don’t think attaching women’s feelings of inadequacies and self-judgment helps this issue. In fact, I believe it is harmful in that it promotes the idea that it is not in our (women’s) power to help ourselves. Everyone is scared of something. Everyone struggles with limiting beliefs about themselves and life in general. Why not figure out a way to bring these internal struggles to light? Don’t just lean in, start to work from within.


Danielle Gibson works with people who want to "speak up." That is, they want to have the ability to be more direct/straight forward. She believes confidence, authenticity, good communication skills and paying attention to one's intuition are essential components. And, they serve as some important focal points in her coaching practice. To contact Danielle, please email: danielle.gibson@gmail.com

Smart Career Women Can Have Sustainable Relationships

Hitting the five zero a few years back was overshadowed by a hectic work schedule which left little time for celebration. If I’m brutally honest though, with 2 marriages and single motherhood on my resume, it felt more like my life was in desperate need of an overhaul to break this unhealthy cycle. How could I get on the path to achieve real and sustained happiness in my personal relationships? 

The reality is, unfortunately, that I am just one of thousands in this situation across America. We grew up in households with parents who were ill-equipped to teach us how to form relationships and what our roles should be; they themselves muddled through with limited input from their own parents. This has resulted in a generation of co-dependent women who seem to attract imbalanced relationships, without the means or skills to dig themselves out of this dilemma.

What is really going on? 

Today’s intelligent and business-savvy women are high in “book smarts” which overcompensates for their lack of EQ (emotional intelligence quotient). In literal terms, their hearts become a magnet for the wrong type of relationship.

Michael Noer created a furor back in 2006 with his article in Forbes Magazine which suggested that men should not consider career women as marriage material. His rationale came from studies which concluded that professional women had a higher propensity to cheat and/or get divorced, and were less likely to want children. This theory was further fuelled by the American Journal of Marriage and Family, whose studies demonstrated a higher divorce risk where wives were the main bread winners. 

There is a wealth of evidence which supports the notion that successful women are incapable of sustaining meaningful relationships for a variety of reasons; these include being too controlling, lack of tolerance for a less successful partner, and the resentment from their partners for their financial success. Surely this then begs the question why is this happening and how can we stop it? 

Pride comes before a fall 

Dr. Robert Holden, author of Success Intelligence, is at the cutting edge of psychological relationship research and offers the following explanation: "To have a successful relationship, you have to have a developed EQ which is emotional empathy and a respect for each other's feelings. Women are often so headstrong that they override what their heart is feeling. Without the engagement of the head and the heart, relationships are not a safe place to be, but the smart woman is headstrong enough to tell herself that she will be able to make this work." Women have become embarrassed to admit that they take the lead in their relationships, and subsequently how this power and control has caused major damage to their relationships.  

In other words, we fall at the first hurdle because we’ve been conditioned to bypass our intuition and it gets us into trouble.  Case in point, my intuition ringing warning bells that landed me in ER for a severe panic attack before my wedding ten years ago to my second ex, only to realize with clarity that I had married the wrong man.  At the time, I kind of knew that the marriage was doomed but convinced myself that with our religious upbringings, "I" could make it work. 

How to change your Modus Operandi 

What energy vibe are you leading with when you meet a guy? 

* Do you find the signals you give are at complete odds to what you are feeling?

* I don't want you to meet my children?

* I'm seeing other men so I don't want you to get too close?

* I'm a financially self-sufficient woman who has her kids, career and only needs a man for sex? 

These vibes can be incredibly emasculating. When men respond by being detached, our emotional side kicks in and we wonder - why isn't he falling in love with me?

Let's be honest, most of us sensible girls aren’t very happy. Often we are the real victims because we just accept that any romantic situation is OK, when in reality it's not.  We have gotten used to wearing this very confident façade which is really to disguise our fear of not being in control and lack of self-acceptance. Intimacy involves a higher potential for rejection and the risk of being hurt and dealing with painful and scary situations. So, we become relationship jumpers because "there was no love there and he didn't stimulate me", "we rushed into it too quickly without knowing each other", or "he was my rebound guy". 

Getting to happy 

What advice can I give to successful career women who are often (secretly) unhappy and unsuccessful in love?   

·         Be willing to admit when you've got it wrong

·         Don't be too quick to lead with your body or looks

·         A sense of humor or succession of compliments is not a fair exchange for you or your money

·         Leave your dominance and competitiveness in the office

·         Don't love carelessly or unconsciously

·         Stop playing the victim role. Be open to embracing the joy of being a woman and having a rewarding career.

Finally, work on developing your EQ. Learn to have emotional strength that is about surrender, openness and a willingness to let go. This is absolutely essential because it determines the quality of your relationships with others. It is unreasonable and unhealthy to expect other people to love you more than you love yourself.

For too long, women like me and others have failed to recognize while building our careers that integrating the emotional and intuitive side of life is just as important. Whether you are in your 30s, 40s, or 50s, the time is now to educate our young women to wake up -- use your head and intuition. Test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, and not some sentimental gush. 

Ask for help 

Fast forward to the present day and we need to honestly evaluate whether Mike’s predictions were mere ramblings or an accurate sign of things to come. Look at your circle of strong sisters, are they in happy and healthy relationships or just applying an extra coat of lipstick and giving the impression that they are “in control”?

Why wait until your next breakup or your power and control triggers surface before making a change? If you hear another “it’s complicated” excuse from a friend, have the tough conversation and have her confront her fears. In order to have a healthy relationship, you must put in the necessary effort to change your attitude about what you are really looking for and prepared to give in return. If you’re feeling lost and really don’t know where to start, stay tuned for some practical steps to gain clarity on getting to happy.

In the meantime, feel free to get in touch with any relationship questions or concerns that you may have – debrah@just4mygirls.com

Debrah Mathis, PC, ELI-MP is a highly sought-after Business, Life and Career Coach in Dallas, TX. My mission is to develop individuals, couples & families with the tools & skills needed for better work-life integration in this new economy. Connect with her on LinkedIn, Follow @EngagetoSuccess, and LIKE Engage to Success Facebook Group page.


Source: www.EngagetoSuccess.com